Boyfriends and Boy Friends

My sister was visiting this past week/weekend.  She brought her boyfriend out to visit and we ended up having a conversation about boyfriends and boy friends.  My sister is also an engineer and works in the construction industry- a male dominated place, especially when you include all of the sub contractors she deals with on a regular basis.

I think it takes a very secure guy to become be the boyfriend of an woman engineer working in a male dominated field.

As that woman engineer, you’ll be surrounded by guys all day.  They will like hanging out with you, in the midst of all the men they work with, you’re a nice change of pace.  (chances are you dress better than most of the guys too).  You will have alot of guy friends.  These friends are not just from work, but from college too.

When I was in college I purposely joined the society of women engineers and even a sorority to try and get some more girl friends.  I seemed to have just good guy friends.

That takes me to the boyfriend part.  When you are starting to date a guy and you are always surrounded by other guys, it is hard for them.  You have to build some trust quickly so he doesn’t think you are dating other guys or attempting to cheat on him.

Not long after I started dating my husband, he got pretty upset that I appeared to be flirting with another guy.  I told him that I had guy friends, I was always going to have alot of guys friends, and if he had a problem with that, then we probably weren’t going to work out.  Good thing he got over it…we’ve been together for almost ten years.  (He’s also gotten back at me a few times by leaving me stranded in corners at social gatherings with some guy who won’t leave me alone and not saving me 🙂 )

My advice to all you other engineering gals out there searching for boy friends- let them know up front that just because you have a lot of guy friends, doesn’t mean you want to date them all.  And just because you have a new boyfriend, doesn’t mean you’ll ditch your friends.

Advertisements

2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by TechnoViking on February 22, 2010 at 8:32 am

    It truly is the animal kingdom out there. Since there is a disproportionate number of men to women, you really have to complete. This reminds me of a great story. Angi and I had been dating for a couple years already and were in a lab together, lab partners at Davis. Then we met Heath (his lab bench was right next to ours.) He’ll deny it to this day but he was openly flirting with Angi right in front of me on more than one occasion. Males are forced to compete with each other.

    Reply

  2. Posted by magoodma on February 22, 2010 at 2:31 pm

    Good reminder that it is tough on both sides when you’re in a gender disproportionate environment.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: